5 Reasons Why I Hate Being a Mother

| May 7, 2015 | 1 Comment

As another Mother’s Day rolls around, we are all reminded that mums are awesome and they do such an amazing job and it is all wrapped in love hearts and chocolates.  I kind of feel like it is just a day where retailers make a shit load of money off the back of the hard work and sacrifice that mothers make (and Fathers on their day).

Being a mum to me, isn’t wrapped in love hearts and chocolates, more like being wrapped in grubby little hands and slapped by a toddler.  It is highly unglamorous and soul destroying at times.

Trying to get a photo with me and my boys.  I ended up with this.  They are all there, just hard to see the ones trying to hide.

Trying to get a photo with me and my boys. I ended up with this. They are all there, just hard to see the ones trying to hide.

Here are the five reasons why I hate being a mother…

1. Guilt

Yes, I am not sure about you, but I am racked with guilt, day and night about the choices I make as a Mother.  Every little bit of bad behaviour that my boys display, I immediately think ‘what did I do wrong?’.  I feel guilty when I am at the end of my tether and yell at them.  What a terrible mother!  Why can’t I be calm and gentle?  Guilt, guilt, guilt … always there, always waiting to leap out and slap me in the face.

When I have a bad day and don’t feed them as well as I should … guilt!  When I let them play too much x-box … guilt! The massive decisions like opting to homeschool over the normal option of state school.  What if I get it all wrong and mess up their future.  Guilt is always there, lurking in the back of my mind.

2. My body is no longer just mine

Pretty much, since having my three boys, I no longer own my body.  It is now the property of my entire family (including the animals) to jump on, hit, pull my hair, lick, pinch, sit on, pee on or push.  I can have NO alone time to clean my body, toilet or basically close a door where I am just with my own body.  They must have access to it at all times … sigh!

Plus, don’t get me started on how my body now looks after making the little rug rats!

3. Sleep

Yeah, we all go on about it … the lack of.  Over the past eight years I would have had just a hand full of nights where I have slept through.  I can’t remember the last time I got to have a sleep in.  But it isn’t just that.  What I miss the most is simply, when I am tired and I lay my head on my pillow, I just want to be able to fall asleep when I want to.  Seems so simple but since having the kids, it is literally impossible.  I must wait until the kids are asleep and usually that doesn’t coincide with when I want to.  YAWN!

4. Being humiliated

Oh man, the times I have wanted the ground to open up and just swallow me!  Like the time my middle son who just doesn’t understand that it isn’t OK to stand in a room full of people and point to a lady who was overweight and say, ‘Mum, this lady is fat, isn’t she?’.  I mean, what do you do, what do you say? Kill me now!

Or then there was the time my eldest told me how three boys in masks at school stole his watch.  I went into total overdrive, stormed down to the school and demanded this to be sorted, only to be told that my son was lying and had simply lost the watch and didn’t want to tell me.  So embarrassed, and then I went straight to number 1!

What about that good old favourite, children having a full blown melt down whilst out shopping, so that everyone can see just how great a mother you are!

5. Loving so much it hurts

How do you explain to people, just how much you love your children.  I mean, it actually hurts at times!  It hurts when they are upset.  I just can’t bear to see my children cry.

It becomes an emotional roller-coaster with children.  You would do ANYTHING for them.  You just want to protect them from the world.  They MUST be happy at all times or go straight to number 1 AGAIN!  You love them so much you have literally changed into a completely new person.

I don’t know about you but my children can make me explode in fury or break down in tears.  It gets really difficult when you have more than one child, so you now love more and they are fighting with each other, oh dear!  How to protect them all and make them all happy when they are hurting each other.  MELT DOWN TIME!  Life used to be so simple … sigh!

Then I get the joy of having an autistic son, which just makes this reason even worse.  I am on guard ALL THE TIME!  I overhear some boys saying to him, ‘why do you talk funny?’, ‘you are five and can’t speak properly’ (then they start laughing at him) … oh dear, my heart is BREAKING!!!

………………………………….

I failed to add in the constant cleaning of poo!  That is almost a full time job (haha, my Nana used to call poos, ‘jobbies’).

Yes, there are aspects of being a mum that at times make me feel like packing up the car and leaving (which I have done).  I only end up getting to the top of the drive and then number 5 kicks in and I miss my babies.  There are times when I hate it.  When the kids are screaming at me, or fighting and it feels like the noise is overwhelming and I can’t seem to sort it out and make things better.  Times when I think I will scream when I hear “MUUUMMMM” just one more time.

Would I change it though and go back to just me? Absolutely NOT!  There are things I hate at times but I could write a post a mile long about all the things I love. Basically, it is all worth it but there are times when it is hard to see through the mess and noise.

REMEMBER, there will be good days and there will be bad ones.  I always think “this too shall pass” when I am in the midst of a difficult phase with my kids, and it surely does (sometimes not as fast as we would like).

I love my kids more than life itself and that is the reason I do all this and put up with all this!  They are worth it and I am so grateful to have the life I do with my three boys in it.  Thank you boys!  Mummy really does love being your mother even if you drive me crazy xxx

What do you hate about being a mother? What makes it all worth it?

Just to counter my five reasons.

Number 1 – feeling guilty, I think, simply means you give a crap about your kids, which must be a good thing

Number 2 – I get kisses and cuddles when I least expect it and sometimes when I really need it

Number 3 – there will be plenty of time to sleep in the future, they need you now and this time will pass quickly

Number 4 – this simply toughens you up for life ahead, soon you won’t give a crap and will just laugh at times like this

Number 5 – yes, you love them so much it hurts but you have someone that loves you completely and sees no flaws at all.  When my middle son looks at me with adoration and says, ‘I love you Mum, you are so beautiful’, he really means it and it makes everything OK.

 

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Category: Commentary, Family, Gratitude

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  1. Narelle says:

    Thank you for your post, so true, I appreciate your honesty, being a Mum is a privilege alas it is not all hearts & flowers. Your boys are lucky to have Chosen you as their Mum!

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